Oprah's Lifeclass #10 (My AHA! Moment)
THE Ms. Iyanla Vanzant graced the Lifeclass webcast and I couldn't have been more glued to the TV.
Have I told you all my thoughts about Iyanla?
Fier. Ce.
Fierce.
She has a no-nonsense, loving, and fiery way of delivering the words you always needed to hear.
Last night, even though she didn't bring her scoop :), I was riveted by the interaction she helped facilitate between a mother and a daughter.
The daughter had shared about losing her virginiaty at 18, while drunk at a party.
She felt like a bad person and that EVERYONE perceived her as bad.
Iyanla asked her who in her life knew.
No one, but she felt like everyone was judging her.
She never came out and said it was her family or more specifically her mother, but I got that feeling early on.
Mothers.
Mothers have this INCREDIBLE power to lift us or let us go.
Sometimes when we get to our late teen years our mothers forget the importance of reminding us.
When we're little girls, they don't stop.
"Don't touch that or do this."
"Don't go there or play with that."
"Make sure you..."
And better,
"I love you. I'm so proud of you. You make mommy so happy."
When we're 18 and lost our virginity at a party or get in past curfew or drink too much, experiment with unhealthy choices, in my case - score our first B in personal finance...we're left waiting to hear it:
"In spire of it, in light of it, I LOVE YOU. YOU MAKE ME PROUD. You make me smile."
I kept waiting for that realization.
Inyanla asked for it:
"When," she asked, "is the last time you told you daughter you are so very proud of her."
The mother started, "Oh, she knows..." and everyone in the audience gasped and Iyanla interrupted,
"Okay, but when is the last time you TOLD her? Tell her now."
She wept.
The daughter cried.
And I felt it for the daughter at the moment.
The moment you realize you are loved, loved unconditionally, loved without clause or concern, by your Holy Father. He has never stopped, and he took a moment to remind you through your mother.
You matter, always.
You are loved.
Iyanla lost her beautiful daughter, Gemmia to cancer a few years ago.
Does that make you stop and think as much as it does me?
It's never too late until it is.
Mothers, remind your children how PROUD they make you.
Daughters, we'll do our best to make you so.
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