Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts

When The Summer Came

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July 2011
These days?

Oh, these days.

Crazy busy, crazy crazy, crazy good days.

These are the days when I miss blogging.

What I wouldn't give to read the thoughts that were in my head 5 months ago!

What I wouldn't give to speak to myself from January.

Or even September.

Or even June.

"It's going to be AWESOME."

"It's going to be better than you've ever imagined."

"I have plans for you, Daughter of mine."

I'd tell myself to LET GO and LET GOD.

I'd listen to the Jayne when she told me that Philadelphia was too far.
And to Little Man George when he told me he knew I couldn't stay away too long.

I'd listen to my heart.

I'd learn to love myself.

I…

Truth is, we can't really go back and tell ourselves anything, but if I could, the most important thing I'd relay is TO HANG IN THERE.

The getting is going to be so good.

And things are getting better by the minute.

Capital P promise!
, Smiley,

Philadelphia Love

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If you even knew?!

How many pictures I have to share of all my new adventures!

You'd freak out.

FREAK OUT!

BUT.

I can't up load them to my new work mac (which I'm working on right now).

But as soon as I sit down to my own computer, which seems like forever from now, right?

I'll load those bad boys, they include new Moroccan bedding, exposed brick walls, homemade magnetic head boards and lots of other excitement!

Most important.

~Miss the Bertrams like Whoa!
~Falling in love with the City and falling in love!
~BEST STAFF EVER.
~Majorino and Shore are my new favs.
~BEST RESIDENTS EVER. (okay, well, arguable summer '09 was the best residents ever...but you know what I mean.)
~Miss my family like WHOA!
~LOVED getting to see NINA ninners.
~Le Target Boutique and I are in a LOVE AFFIAR.
LOVE.  AFFAIR.

And finally, my "sister" who has, at times, been referred to as annoying on the blog, will temporarily relieve herself of that status by bringing me the rest of my life from Massachusetts.

Hooray.

The City of Brotherly Love

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So you might remember, from say - the majority of my posting - that I've been looking for work.

Well…

Happy Holidays! :)

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I'm a little back logged with holiday pictures, so now this skirt is full with presents. :)
Yesterday was spent with cousins and uncles.  Our family has grown so much this past year.
To see 3 babies under a year and a 2 and a 5 year old…nothing sweeter.

Highlights from yesterday:
  • Cora (5) and Aidan (2) sitting in the chair together, "I'm holding Aidan for case he gets scared."
  • I would publicly like to thank cousin Nick and my Cousin in Law, Shannon for the baby time they shared Logan with me for.  He's THE happiest baby I know.  HAPPIEST!  Which in turn, made me the happiest cousin you'll ever know. :)
  • I asked Aidan if I could sit next to him to which he responded, "Uh, huh."  Loves.
  • Logan liked his farm.
  • And Nana Ruth, at 89 1/2 managed to survive the day - tired, but just joyful for our family.
...
It's 11am and my mother is STILL sleeping.  Way to go, Christmas Day! :)

I was up at 7am preparing the beef tips in a cherry wine sauce for dinner tonight (crock pot).
I went to Savory Suppers this week and prepared Christmas Dinner.
Along with the beef, we'll feast on Pork Medallions in a gorgonzola cream sauce, Meatballs, and Crab Cakes.   Yumm Yumm!

I've also got to make some Peppermint Swirl Cupcakes (Recipe Here: Mindika Moments)
and I'm trying to find my marbles! :)

To pull off this pinterest gem:
Source: musesofmegret.com via Amy on Pinterest


Wherever you are, with whatever you have, with whomever you're celebrating with, I hope you find the reason for the season all around you and may you be filled with the joy of his spirit all Christmas long.

I KNOW Santa!

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So, MONDAY the ENTIRE BERTRAM CLAN was home again, together, including their new GORGEOUS toddler, Emerson Jayne.

J'Adore.

New family holiday photos were taken.
Lots of hugs.
LOTS and LOTS.
LMG and I even got to go out and do some SUPER SECRET shopping for his family.
Which they loved.

While we were out I was telling Little Man George that we should stop and see Santa.
Of course, he was a little thrilled.

FLINCH!

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I realized tonight that you have never met my 89 and 1/2 year old Nana Ruth.
The one who took the fall.
You need to.
She's amazeballs.

AMAZEBALLS.
2011-12-17 at 08:48.png

Lady A is NEVER ALONE :)

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Thursday Night Mr B. surprise Surprised me with an early Christmas Gift I was NOT expecting.

Cross Those Fingers!

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UPDATE on the job hunt:
1 interview for a teaching preschool job.
1 offer for a teaching preschool job.
Not enough money.
I say no.  Boo.  I LUUUURVE preschool, but, I'm trying to get OUT of debt.

Freak OUT!

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Real lifers know.
I know you know.
My personality can, in two words, be described as, a lot.
I'm on - a lot.
I'm happy - a lot.
I'm loving - a lot.

If you're not a fan of a lot, like a lot of people, it's TOO MUCH.
But.
That's alright.
I adjust.
I can tone it down.

Moonlit Walks and Crazy Talk

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This has been such a crazy, amazeballs, rewarding, love filled week.

He is such a miracle worker.
I had no idea while I was sitting in NE at a Wedding he was working in her heart, thousands of miles away.  Planting the seeds that would grow into an idea, that would warm her heart to the idea that her two daughters could be sisters together, apart from her, but together.  They could provide a home for her unlike what she was able.

Check it…dun.dun.dun.dun…Wreath Time.

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I know.
I already made me one.
I know.
I have negative monies to be making one.
I know.

Quick Makeover and Pitfalls

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I started this morning by stepping on this gem.  
Serves me right for sleeping on the Bertram's couch to watch TV at night.
Fail.

But even a little holier, LBF and I got our craft on, turning this:
weekly calendar I made with fabric and a $10 frame, into something more seasonally appropriate with $1.99 wrapping paper from TJ Maxx.
{In transition}

{Finished Project}

Hooray!

LBF and I are off to the bank {since there is no money in my account, I thought I'd go have a chat with them about current circumstances}
and then the…ehem…
Unemployment office.

For 5 months, I've known the right job was right around the corner.
For 5 months, I've not wanted to try and collect because, there are people that REALLY needed it.
For 5 months, I could get by.
For 5 months, I was in denial about how bad it was.

Then the bank called and said my money was gone, bills needed to get paid and reality smacked in the face.

That $4 from November, that was a luxury I can not afford.

BUT.
I'll be okay, you'll be okay, he, she, we, will be okay.
Because, I refuse to think otherwise.

Grace.

Legos and 2 Nuggets

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In real life friends, you know the Bertrams are off to Ecuador to pick up toddler Emerson Jayne to complete their little family.

But did you know Auntie Rena has accepted the title of sole caretaker to TWO munchkins while their parents and baby Ellie are traveling?!

I've been up to my stockings in BOY town.

LMG has been teaching me EVERYTHING I need to know.
LBF has been making me crack up, about every 2 seconds.

I've stepped on 100 Legos.
Nuked 20 chicken nuggets.
Made Mac and Cheese, from a box, Auntie Annie's.
Read aloud for a couple of HOURS.
Watched ONE movie, twice…thank god I LOVE the Letter Factory.
Gone grocery shopping.
Made a welcome home banner.
Crafted something for toddler Emerson's new digs.
Cried when LBF couldn't sleep because he LOVES his parents so much.

Seriously, try to not cry when a four year old, in a little four year old voice, and so much ernest your heart breaks, tells you he doesn't know why he's crying, but he loves his mom and dad and baby Ellie.
Little Buddy Frank.
You're too much.

Of course, Little Man George is a little man of the house.
This morning when I was driving him to school, he was telling me everything I HAD to do with LBF.
"And if that does't work, just let him cry it out, because sometimes that's all he needs."
Me: Okay, thanks, LMG.
"And, there are stickers under the box in the kitchen, but DON'T give him any batman or spiderman stickers."
Me: Got it, no spider man.
"Or batman."
Me: Right.
"Do you think you'll be good?"
Me: I hope so, LMG, I hope so.
"Me too."

Bahahaha.  Kidlets.
Up to my eyeballs in laughter and love.

Almost Lost It All

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Tried to upload new template.
Almost.
Lost.
Everything.

Lesson learned, be happy with what you got.
And.
I am.
:)

Tomorrow I'll reveal what happened to those christmas balls.
You're going to L.O.V.E it.

:) x 6 = Bertram Big Family News.
I DIED.

Jayne, I died.
I think I sat dumbfounded at the NE airport for like, ever.
I'm a deep faith kinda gal.
I believe that even as everything feels like it's unraveling, someone has it all together, a plan.

That being said.
Toddler Emerson will be welcomed with a kind of love she's only imagined.
Emerson Jayne, it's like she's been a part of your beautiful family since day #1.
And, I can assure you that, as an adoptee @ age 2…she'll know you as mom and Mr. Bertram as Dad.

Legitimately, I can't talk about it without either crying or screaming with excitement.

I think the only person who is possibly more excited than us, is LMG.
Who questioned me today like it was going out of style.
Favorite questions?:
"Do you remember when you were a baby?" 
Me: Nope
"Do you remember when you were 2?"
Me: Not really.
"Do you remember when you were a tween?"
Me: Hysterical Laughter.

"Do you think Emerson will know I'm her brother?"
Me: Absolutely.
"How?"
Me: Um….she'll just know.
"If you don't know, just say that, that you don't know."
Me: Okay.
"Okay."

"Do you think Emerson likes corn?"
Me: Probably?  Do you like corn?
"Um, on the grill, only."
Me:  That's probably how she'll like it too.
"She can't touch the grill, she's too little, though."
Me: Got it.

Permission to Move On

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I'm going to move forward.
The whole HS Reunion thing was so, SO....Saturday night.
I appreciate the Bertram's take that I didn't miss much.
And I was reading over Iyanla's words...
"I give you permission to stop wishing the past could be any different."
Moving forward can be hard because we long to make different choices "then".

I'm not a mother, or a wife, YET, but I think about the children in my life, Mr. B, my AMAZEballs friends, and nutty family and but for the grace of God, I have all of them, BECAUSE of the past.
It's why I LOVE working for the Ballet and 14 and 15 year old who are so introverted in their small world.
I love to SEE them, really see them.
Hug them goodnight, tell them I love them, and that I SEE THEM.
Because no friend of mine in HS ever did.
How in class of 346 I felt so alone is beyond me.
But, I think about that sadness and how it brought me to the Accountant, who changed my WHOLE LIFE.  Literally, my WHOLE Life.  Who, in spite of not being husband material, SAW ME.
I think about Anaise, a small, gregarious 4 year old, who in my senior year, in our HS preschool, SAW ME.
And the truth of the matter is, while I didn't  have friends in my hs class, He was leading me to BETTER, stronger, more faithful friends, all the while tending to our relationship, growing it, fostering it.
Sorry blog land friends, I really did start to write a post about my pinterest pins...but this was sitting there needing to be written.
So, I give YOU permission to stop wishing the past could be any different.  
What will that allow you to move into?  
That sentiment feels a lot like grace.

ALSO:

Ehem, on a totally and terrifically random aside, Mr. B and I have heard MOOING, distressed mooing outside our house all afternoon and into the evening.
Mr. B doesn't think they exist, just wait until mating season, Mr. B.  Just WAIT.

Protected wetlands aside, we have bears, fisher cats, polliwogs, skunks, and squirrels...but to the best of my knowledge there isn't any cows...at what point to we call the...the...um...a farmer?

Thanksgiving in NYC

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Mr. B and I had a very busy Thursday.
We traveled to NYC the night before and stayed with my friends.
I've been visiting them on Thanksgiving since the Accountant and I were dating.
NYC around the holidays is MAGICAL.

When we first started visiting, our friends rented a 1 bedroom loft on the upper east side.
SMALL, but so homey.
All 12 of us would squeeze into the living/dining area and eat a catered Thanksgiving.
Now, TWO children later, they live in a 2 bedroom loft on the upper west side.

Cici is 6...can you believe that?
Fiona is 2.

Energy level for both? A bajillion.
We are all in our late twenties, early thirties...and we jam in there like it's an elementary school sleep over.
Later tonight (Thursday) Mr. B and I will cozy up on a double air mattress and laugh the night away with beautiful friends.

The parade this morning was beautiful.
Pictures forthcoming.
It's something like the 9th year for me.
Absolutely not a {seen it once}, type of deal.

I'm a bit of an OCD packer since we had the {bed bugs} after our hotel stay in NJ.
So.
I planned and photographed our three outfits, washed and heat dried the clothing AND duffle bag on high heat and put each days outfit in a zip lock bag.

I know, I have a problem.
But, getting outfits ready ahead of time helps us ENJOY the days rather than thinking about what would go with and what we should wear when...etc.


Day One....Parade Day
Jean Jacket: Torrid
White Shirt: Wal Mart
Skirt: Old Navy
Leggings and Boots: Le Target Boutique
{I also rocked my gold and white ruffled scarf from The Pleated Poppy}
It was CHILLY today.

Day One....Thanksgiving Dinner and Later Desserts @ Serendipity
Switched the Jacket for the Purple Target Sweater...had a magical time so far.

Giving Thanks :)

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T is for the time I've been given with friend, family and loved ones.  It's so precious and I am so thankful for it.
h is for the home I share with my mother and beside my grandmother.  Without it - I'd be homeless this year.  True story.
a is for all the amazing journeys I've shared this year.  Some okay, some ridiculously awesome.
n is for knowing it is in his hands.  He will provide and care for me no matter what the circumstances.
k is for the kindness that has been bestowed this year from the Bertrams, the Engelsons, and the world.
s is for soul searching, soul surviving, soul thriving, as well as stitches in your brow :)
is for growing up, growing older, growing fonder by the hour.
i is for independence.
v is for the very thought of YOU that makes me smile.
i is for all the wonderful ideas we've shared.
n is for the knowledge that things are not to be cherished, but rather, people are.
g is for the unbelievable grace bestowed on me this year.  Grace beyond your wildest imagination.
{I may or may not have been a teacher in a previous life} :)

Hey blog world friends and real life friends:
Travel safely, love freely, hug openly, and cherish the memories of this day.

Mr. B and I are off to NYC for the Macy's Thanksgiving's Day Parade, dinner with friends, dessert at Serendipity, and skating in Bryant Park.

Friday we'll be back to Western, MA to spend the day with my niece and nephew, Nat and Nick.  Hooray!

See you Saturday Blog friends.

Happy Day Project Round Up :)

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The Happy Happy Happy Day Project Week was AMAZEBALLS!
{Julie and Jeannett were SUPER AWESOME to give us a week to get our post together...sadly...it took me two weeks :)}  HAPPY!
Here we go:
Treate to our FANTASTIC NEIGHBORS!
This assignment fell on our city's week late Halloween {post the Nor'easter}, so it was like reverse trick or treating.






We delivered Cake Balls and Delicious notes to Neighbors Bill and Doreen, Neighbors Chris and Lauren, and Neighbor Nana.
JOY!Happy Project success!






Jeannett talks about being ruined on her blog by some of these assignments.
This one RUINED me.  In a good way.
Writing letters with Little Man George and listening to the way he loves his family.
Writing a note to my 89 year old Nana and 5th grade teacher.
Sending Wren her note and target card was...well...I was a puddle.
EVERY time I think of young people who are sick I think of her.
And I imagine that this small gift would have given her family a little peace of heart and piece of heart for that matter.
And I miss my best friend.  
BREATHE IN.  Breath out.  
I'm okay...I WILL....NOT....CRY....
Inside Wren's Card
LMG and I headed to Amherst, MA to find my favorite bucket playing homeless super hero who supports MANY other homeless people by renting an apartment where they can stay, alas, we found another one of the many homeless youth in the 5 College Area.
LMG delivered our Dunkin Donuts card with a hi-5 and one of his famous smiles.
"The world IS small, and we're all in together."





I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read and that made this assignment exceptionally difficult.  How many books, to how many friends, and then WHICH ONES!?  Thankfully, I knew what I wanted to do the next day to REFRESH someone, so I loaded up my car with some of my favorite classroom library books and headed to my ALL time favorite school where a certain someone named Jayne works and delivered some of my favorites to her class.  A Turkey for Thankgiving...Favorite read aloud of the season!







Refreshing someone was supposed to take place our favorite park...sadly, and truly, our favorite Duck, Ozzie, was murdered there the day before and I decided that was not so much where I wanted to be.  So I decided to combine Day 4 and 5 and deliver some refreshment to some teachers.  I made notes that said "I wish I could really send you to FIGI, but hope this refreshes you today!"






"Service" is broad right?  I did also pay for the actual Air Forcemen in line behind us at Chipotle this day too, but I felt so corny, I didn't ask for a photo....PLEASE people, I was on the verge of tears!  We have service people who teach our children every day while being parents themselves, and children themselves, and friends, and boyfriends...so, ya' know, I turned my eyes to them.  I made flower pens and delivered a floral arrangement to the teacher's lounge of three of my favorite schools.

To wrap up the week, we'll be doing blessing boxes as a church service project with our youth group in 2 Sunday's, stay tuned :)

The Happy Project is as much about doing happy things, as it is putting happiness out in the world and watching as it bounces off the light of others and makes the world a happier place.



I can't thank Julie or Jeannett enough for this incredible endeavor!

Holiday Wreath Made by a Teenager :)

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I've been pinteresting the holidays since last holiday. :)
I've tried to break it down by month, and tried....key being TRIED...to stay a month ahead of the actual holiday.

October and November's wreath was the Thumb tack wreath...so that was done late in October, early for November.

I'm getting started on Holiday stuff, as cheaply and as early as I can.

This being a no sob story place, needless to say, I've got about $10.00 set aside for the ENTIRE holiday season. 
And no, I didn't mean $100.

The majority of that goes to getting myself to NYC for Thanksgiving and New Year's with friends.  Shout out Rina and Kavel <---- See you, your munchable munchkins, and your masterfeast dinner theater in just a couple of days!

Back on track here and without further ado...the wreath.

Pinterest has a BAJILLION and 37 wreath ideas and honestly, if I had a bajillion and 37 rooms, I'd make them all and live in a house of wreaths.  

Sadly, I have about 10 rooms that could use a wreath total, and about 2 that actually have them hanging.

What excited me about this project is that NOTHING is glued on. 
NOTHING.  
You'll use hot glue, but not TO the wreath.

So I have a new plan.
It makes me giddy.

In January, after the holiday, I'll take a big zip lock bag, dismantle all the December Pieces into the bag, and create a January wreath using the white yarn wreath I already have.  At the end of the January, I'll bag those pieces up and use the white yarn wreath to make a Valentine's Heart Wreath for February....and so on.

Someone, somewhere, already thought up that idea and I'm totally grateful for it.  
I think In January we'll try doing that argyle pattern in blues, whites, and silvers?
 Here's what you'll need.

1. Straw Wreath $2.99 @ Joanne's
2. A skein of whatever color yarn you'd like, I chose white and it was $2.49 @ Joanne's
3. 4 sheets of felt, 4/$1 @ Joanne's (I got 2 red, 1 brown, and one green - The red and brown were embossed and beautiful.)
4. Pins of a different assortment, I used what I had which included gold thumbtacks from October and pearl corsage pins from other yarn wreaths.
5. Hot glue gun or glue.
6. Berries from Joanne's...currently 50% off!  JOY.  I got those bad boys for .49 cents!

Make the yarn wreath by wrapping the white yarn tightly around the straw wreath, this should be tight, but not too tight.
DON'T try to multitask this part.
I was watching Once Upon A Time on my laptop, playing with Little Buddy Frank and Wrapping.
At one point, I wrapped it too tight and there is a skinny part of the wreath.
{Thankfully, I covered that with felt flowers.}

Using strips of felt cut form the red, embossed sheet about 1/2 thick, I started wrapping the candy cane stripe around.

I used a thumbtack to hold it in place while I made sure the placement looked good.

One they were wrapped, about 6 strips for mine, I hot glued the ends together so that it became one lone piece of felt. {helpful for next year mostly}

I covered the connectors with a row of gold thumbtacks.
I had left overs, you could also spray those the same color as your felt.

For my flowers - I started working from here:
Mrs. Priss' Tut - SO SIMPLE.

Somewhere out in blog world someone has a tut about cutting on the diagonal instead of straight - it gives it a real petal effect and I did that on three of the flowers.
I made three brown {1 big 2 small}, and two red {small}

Using the long pearl tipped corsage pins, I pinned the the flowers to that small spot.

I folded green circle felt into leaves and stuck those in around the flowers - no glue, no pins, just stuck 'em in.

Added the red berries, just stick 'em in again and wallah - finished!

On that note....another LMG story

I went to get LMG in this outfit today.
His comments about the way I dress are free comedy.
Today, he started with the comment on the picture.
My response was, "Who told you to say that?"
"Nobody.  But you do.  You look like a teenager."

My response was...."Pay you a quarter to say that EVERY time you see me."
"Okay," a beat, "Hey, Rena,  you look like a teenager."

We laughed for a long time.

Little Man George made me cry.

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I wish you all could meet and know LMG.
Especially on a day like today.

I made a promise to myself and to his Mom, who actually wouldn't mind photos, that I wouldn't post any here.

The internet is so open and kids become searchable at such a young age.
So.
I found a "mock LMG".

I need you to know how stinkin' cute this kiddo was today and is always.

Fluffier hair.
Same dimples and nose.
Same smile, minus 2 teeth.
Pretty Good Doppleganger.
I picked him up from school today and did his 2nd grade homework with me.  Reading for 30 minutes was my absolute fav.  We're reading the BFG :).

After we hung out for a little we headed to the grocery store to pick up some milk for LMG's mom.  I also needed a gallon.

Between that and some thank you notes - thanks GOODness I had LMG to carry one gallon...like a baby...down every aisle.  ADORABLE.

Down the dairy aisle, I heard my name and wheeled around to find one of my co-workers from the store when I was in high school.  He asked if LMG was mine...I wish, I said!  I also laughed because I was thinking, do you really think I'm the kind of girl who would have a child at 21?  Nope.

I remember we had a very flirtatious moment in the dairy freezer when I was a senior in HS and he was always willing to help.

OFF TRACK.

I have psoriasis.
We all know it.
And it is what it is.
As the air gets cooler during the winter, my arms look worse.
But.
Thank the lord, they don't itch or burn or anything - they just look different.
I'm traditionally unfazed by the staring.
It happens.
If my students or kids ask, "What's wrong with your arms?"
I usually ask them, "What's wrong with your arms?"
"Nothing."
"That's right, and there is nothing wrong with mine.
It's just how you were born.
Me too."
Simple enough.
We were standing in line to check out our three items, and LMG put the bar down for me.
Then, I felt his hand on my arm.
I tilted my head towards him and smiled.
Then, he started to pat and rub my arm.
I turned again and smiled.

That's when I saw the older man, too.
He was staring at my arms as though if he got to close it might be catching.

Meh.

But LMG, oh LMG.
Was staring that MAN down.
With a hand on my arm, I watched his eyes focus on the man.
I felt his transfer of love.

He never has to tell me cares about me or thinks I'm cool.
I felt it in his transfer of love.
I held it together in the store.
In the car, I LOST IT.

"I think," LMG started as soon as he was belted, "Some people miss a lot of beautiful things because they aren't looking."

I put my elbow on the window sill, turned the radio on, covered my face and sobbed - silently.
"LMG," I managed, "You my friend, never, ever have to worry about that.  You see it all."

Then he asked for Moves Like Jagger.  And I obliged, still wiping tears.

Jayne...I love your children.  NO.  YOUR FAMILY!  You raise incredible kids.