Freak OUT!
Real lifers know.
I know you know.
My personality can, in two words, be described as, a lot.
I'm on - a lot.
I'm happy - a lot.
I'm loving - a lot.
If you're not a fan of a lot, like a lot of people, it's TOO MUCH.
But.
That's alright.
I adjust.
I can tone it down.
Especially when we're in a group.
All of us.
I tailor it down.
I'm not the loudest.
Or craziest.
Or a lot-est.
When we're all together.
SO.
Last night, when we were bon-firing it up.
In the ARTIC chilliness of December in Massachusetts.
You'd have THOUGHT it was ME.
Because I usually say things that can offend.
Because I'm a lot.
A lot of the time.
But not last night.
I was sipping hot chocolate with no baileys and enjoying being snuggled in a big, plaid blanket, and with friends.
All I heard was the yelling.
That's all we heard.
Then those words.
The kind you take offense to, even though they don't apply to you.
Words that you know as an adult, are just mean.
"Yeah?! Well, excuse me for having a LIFE. I'm sorry you're 32 and all you have to show for it is two kids. It's been 10 years?! I have a career. Excuse ME!"
Yeah. Those words.
Did you feel the stomach punch?
The big gulp.
It got quiet.
F-A-S-T.
I cry, a lot.
I felt hot tears well up inside me.
Sad tears.
The kind that would fall for friends that I love.
The kind that would fall for friends who can be so mean.
It's the kind of mean thing to say that none of us want to touch with 10-foot pole.
This "Mommy Friend" of ours can be A LOT.
A lot of holier than thou.
I'm a lot, but.
I know I'm NO WHERE close to even okay.
Our "Mommy Friend" tends to talk A LOT.
I'm not really sure what she said to invoke our "Career Friend", but I know she said it.
Our "Career Friend" is SO level headed.
She's our intaker friend.
The one who soaks us up, shares a few stories occasionally, but I think she could write novels about us, where I could probably only put together a good chapter on her.
She works A LOT.
And has an AMAZING job.
AND, is AMAZING at it.
And I'm sure, it was a last straw that broke the camel's back kind of comment from "Mommy Friend" that led to the freak out.
She grabbed her bag, her canisters, and in tears walked out of the yard.
"Mommy Friend", because she's a lot, slammed the door {I KNOW!} to the house and told her "Daddy Friend Husband" they were gone.
And that left 8 of us.
Silent.
Unmoved.
A good 10 minutes passed before ANYONE dared.
First it was just, "Can I have that blanket?"
and
"Where are you going? To get more cocoa?"
And then.
I cried.
I KNOW.
I'm a lot.
It felt like that friendship ending kind of freak out.
But.
Then.
"Daddy Friend Husband" came back around the side of the house.
With "Career Friend"!
And she stayed.
And she apologized.
And "Mommy Friend" came back, too.
And she apologized.
And we sipped out cocoa.
Smiled.
And I thought.
I'm a lot.
But.
I'm not that much.
Then.
I thought.
I have incredible friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Leave a little L.O.V.E